|
|
2001-06-29 - 10:34 p.m. I am feeling SO much better than Tuesday, and thank you Lord for that! I had a rough evening, but already next morning I felt better, and my DB called me in the afternoon to hear if I was feeling better (I'd sent him an email, telling him I was feeling blue). That act of kindness meant a lot to me. I'd gone to get a list of available rooms for rent from the uni Wednesday, and we looked them over yesterday. I kept hiding my head by his shoulder, because the tears _would_ come. Natrually he noticed and wanted to know why, but the thing was I honestly didn't know. I was just so tightly strung up that I think the mere fact we were actually _doing_ something did me in. He suggested we talk about the possibilities, getting all the options out. hat was a great idea. He'd still prefer staying with his brother, and I think that's the best solution too. He thinks there's a 75% chance of his brother agreeing to it. That sobered me up somewhat, because we HAD to talk about "what if not". I started tearing up again, though I desperately tried not to. There are several different possiblities, so I'm sure we'll find something. DB even suggested taking half a years sabbatical from uni to work. I ended up telling him straight out that something had to be done, because it's breaking me down, and I can't handle it much longer. I didn't like saying it, but better now than when it's too late. He was just amazing though - sat and looked at me with these incredibly love-filled eyes, telling me how loved HE felt. I love him with all my heart and (contrary to what I wrote last) feel just as loved back. After a bit of debating I asked him if he wanted us to pray about it, because that was definitely what I wanted / needed. Fortunately he said yes right away, and acted as if it was the most natural thing in the world (which it is, but... you know...). Now THAT made me feel heaps better, but whether that was because God answered my prayer and brought me peace, or 'just' because we actually prayed together for the first time, I don't know. Time will show. But I'll REALLY appreciate all your prayers as well!!!
|