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2001-05-14 - 4:12 p.m. One month left and then I'll be on summer vacation! I can't wait! I am so in need of gettting away from uni - and especially A (if you'll allow me to return to him for a minute). You know, I thought I was all over him, but then today he actually looked at me for a spit second, and that was enough to bring it all back again. It will be good to get away from him for awhile :-/ But that episode also got me thinking... As of today, I have decided I will NOT have people walk all over me any longer, just because I let them! I have to stop being so 'nice' all the time - it ends up backfiring at me. Just think about A - I've accepted his ignoring me for 2 months, even though it hurt me terribly, just because that was what he wanted! Well, I've had enough! Call me crazy, but I miss him, and will not allow him to leave my life withoutb the least bit of a fight! So as of today I've decided not to treat him any differently than I would anybody else - not go out of my way to be with him, but not let him intimidate me into keeping away from him either. If he wants to ignore me - fine, but I won't let him force me into ignoring him too - why make it easy for him. I've spoken to him a bit today, okay others were around, but he didn't ignore me, he looked at me (albeit only fleetingly) and spoke directly to me a couple of times. Not much - but at least it's a beginning. Whether or not it will get any further than this, only God knows, as I might not see him again other than by coincidence after next Monday. Oh well, God's will be done... as always ;-)
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