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2001-04-05 - 2:54 p.m. I promised to add a bio that I'd written a couple of years ago. So here it is, from Sunday 13-9-98 I just read in LMM's journal how she made – or tried to make – an unbiased assession of herself. It was extremely interesting to read, so I decided to try a hand at it myself, but I'm afraid I won't be too good at it. LMM wrote: "There are some faults that we are willing to acknowledge; some that the frank ones among us will acknowledge and some faults which nothing could induce us to admit. I do not think one person in a thousand sees or knows his one real faults – and perhaps his one virtues. But the thousandth has the power of getting outside himself and looking on at himself as at another person, and he does know himself in weakness and strength." (Selected Journals Volume 2, Dec 13, 1920) LMM sees herself as the latter, but I'm probably one of the former, although I couldn't say which one. Still, I will try to describe and analyse myself and we'll see what comes out of it. I will begin with myself physically. I am of medium height – about 168-170 and very thin, only weighing 52.2kg as of this morning. I have hardly any muscles, my weak ankle preventing me from doing many sports. I don't deeply regret this as I'm not a very sporty person as it is. I have relatively big feet – use (39-)40-41 depending on the shoe. The operation in my ankle has left a big scar on my right shin and another one on my left thigh which is where they took the skin for the transplantation from. These scares do not bother me in the least. I quite freely wear shorts and short skirts, and don't mind at all when people ask me about the scars. I like jewellery, but not to excess. My limbs fit well together – meaning none are plumb in contrast to the other slim ones – but my bones (esp. hip, collar and wristbones) have a tendency to stick out because of my thinness. My hair is brown with just a trace of readish/chesnut to stop it from being too dull. I've dyed it chesnut twice with very good results. It's very thick, but I find it extremely difficult to find a hairstyle I like. In my face I think are my best points. Well, my complexion isn't very good as I have a bit of acne. Still, I tan easily in summer to a nice golden, albeit dirty-brown colour. My eyes are blue-grey but change colour according to my mood and what I'm wearing. I have been told times beyond number that they are beautiful, intense and penetrating. I have severe difficulties believing that myself though. Oh, not the beautiful part – all eyes are beautiful and sparkling at some times – but I cannot see where the 'intense' and 'penetrating' comes from. But then, I've accused others of the same thing. Maybe it's all in the eye of the beholder. Well, if the eyes really are the windows to one's soul, then I guess it's not an entirely bad thing. There is nothing really noticable about the rest of my features. My nose is a tad big, but has a good shape, my teeth are somewhat yellow, but straight. The only real complaint I have about my body is that I have an excess of dark hair in unwanted places, such as legs and the bikini-line, but not – thank goodness – on my upper lib. My main 'defect' – constantly tense shoulders. The general effect of my apperance? It depends a lot on mood, dress and quality of hair-day, but usually pass as common boardering on pretty, or pretty boardering on common. I am a generally friendly person. I have a couple of bestest best friends / soulmates, a number of good friends and a large circle of friendly acquaintancies. Plus I have been blessed with knowing a lot of people who are of 'the race that knows Joseph'. If I do not like a person I am typically indifferent to him/her, trying to avoid that person, but there are very few I decidedly dislike. I am a quite intelligent person, and get good grades at school without trying too hard. Mum and my youth minister believe I have a gift for telling friends about God/Jesus. Taking into consideration that two of my friends turned to Christianity while I've known them, and the number of people who confides in me, I'm inclined to think them right. I was beginning to get too vain on that point though and was rebuked or it by one of my friends in our recent spat. Even more so when she in her email yesterday told me she didn't really trust me any longer. That hurt, but maybe I was becoming too cocky in my way of seeing myself. I don't have much of a temper, but am inclined to sulk. I am rather indecisive and unfortunately find myself changing opinion about things more often than I like. I am usually loyal in friendships – or rather I am in my TRUE friendships, and definitely in my loves. I am entirely too insecure, even though it has gotten much better this past year and a half, and it mainly shows in my not always believing people can love/like me for ME. This doens't apply to everybody, but mainly to more popular people as I never used to be part of the incrowd. I am jealous only when it comes to things that doesn't concern me which is really stupid of me. What am I missing? I can be patient – when I feel like it. I worry entirely too much, and regret things I cannot change. Sometimes there's a bit too far from talk to action. Most importantly I have a very strong faith in God which has helped me through a lot of tough spots, and tend to have a Bible-verse for every situation. The most useful ones being Prov: 27:5, Romans 8:28, 1.Cor 10:13 and Philippians 4:4+6. I would like to become better at praying though. I think that's more or less it, but of course I'm bound to have left something out. It's impossible to mention EVERYthing about yourself and likewise impossible to be completely honest, but I've tried!
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